Finding inner peace: Overcoming self-anger and embracing neurodivergence

Imagine someone was angry at you 24/7.

Now imagine being physically stuck with that person 24/7 as they openly express all that anger and despair.

Now imagine that angry person is actually you, expressing your anger through your inner voice.

Changing this was the part of my own journey that had the biggest impact - It's the bit that actually changed my life.

It's the invisible part which people don't seem to talk about. The majority of advice I find online about managing ADHD is about productivity, getting more organised, how you should eat protein in the morning, or downloading yet another app! But if you're already in the trenches with how you feel towards yourself, what happens when all those tips and tricks don't work? You got it..... you feel even worse. It's negative confirmation that you just can't do anything to get your shit together.

That's why the late discovery of neurodivergence is rarely navigated with just one thing. You can't only take medication, you can't only hire someone to reorganise your wardrobe, you can't only order prepped meals to get better nutrition.

Recently, my aunty said "there's something more peaceful about you these days, it shows on your face". This was on a day when I was exhausted, and so stressed that I was in tears just 20mins before she came over.

I explained that I spent over 30 YEARS being upset and frustrated with myself, and in the last 18 months, all that anger and despair has faded away (doing my bit to educate the South Asian fam on neurodivergence, and have to say it is NOT easy!).

So now, even when I am frustrated, upset, stressed etc. - It's all external. I can cry, have insomnia, struggle to keep up with my friends, feel exhausted... but it doesn't disturb my deeper inner peace. And that's the change people see on my face and feel in my energy. It's not that my life is perfect or peaceful, it's that things don't shake me to my core like they used to, because I'm at peace with myself ✨️

A sunrise hike in the Italian mountains circa July 2023. Pre-ADHD knowledge, thinking that's what I needed to reset between jobs.

My diagnosis, followed by medication, coaching, and educating myself on neurodivergence, helped me to get here. And it wasn't a smooth or easy journey, so if you're in the trenches with it right now, wondering how on earth you'll ever feel okay with having a 'different' brain - hang in there, friend 🫶🏽

Look for external support, get conscious of your self-talk, and remember that if doing something one way hasn't worked so far, there's no harm in trying to do it differently - what's the worst that could happen?